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Rebecca: I think because of the language and cultural barrier often conversations can be quite superficial – this or that recommendation of what to do in Japan, or do you like this Japanese food etc.So it’s hard to get into a more deep conversation and to get to know each other.Rebecca: Yeah I don’t know any of my Japanese girlfriends who would directly approach a guy.Christa: It seems to be through organized group events like ‘gokon’.Rebecca: I wasn’t so attracted to Japanese men but now after living here for three years I would say I definitely am. Christa: I’ve always been attracted to Japanese men, even when I was young, so I did some research before I came here and I saw that generally they are interested but they’re very shy about approaching women so you may need to approach them.So now when I go home I immediately look for the nearest Asian guy like ‘Hey! Christa: I was with a girlfriend in Shibuya and two men approached us on the street and we went out for drinks. *Laughter* Rebecca: Exactly, each time that’s happened to me the guy has been pretty hammered.Chiara: I know some married couples and the first meeting is usually through friends or at university. Rebecca: I think quite a common thing among foreign girls who are in relationships with Japanese guys is that generally the guy has lived abroad or has some sort of not-typical Japanese perspective that makes him attracted to foreign girls.
’ Rebecca: My experience dating foreign guys here has been comparable to back home – so pretty awful actually – but the general picture of foreign guys in Japan is that they really want to date Japanese girls.Finding love in the modern age is a tricky business for us ladies; there’s attractive profiles to create, emoticons to choose and the general deciphering of Tinder captions – ‘I feel how pizza tastes’… Throw in some culture shock, the language barrier and a completely different set of rules and you have something like dating in Japan.In the name of research, Gaijin Pot got together three different women (UK, USA and Italy) to share their experiences of dating in Japan. Chiara: I thought that they didn’t find me attractive so I wasn’t really interested in Japanese guys, even though I was attracted to them.I had heard that Japanese guys tend to be intimidated by foreign women.When I first came, I felt no guys found me attractive since they never looked my way.
Christa: I actually approached someone on the train recently and he was totally ok with it but yeah it was kind of up to me to make a move.